Dark Phoenix

Dark Phoenix ★★★★★

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers.

How X-men Dark Phoenix cured my depression, became my obsession and how I may have founded a cult

This Film is my white whale, My picture of Dorian Gray, my Rosebud and my spinning top in Inception

I saw this movie at its first ever showing in my home cinema, I also saw it on its last I saw this movie three times in a month. I truly believe that is three times too many but the more I watch this film the more bewildering I found ever choice from marketing to the script it’s self. This film is an enigma that will always puzzle me. I love it yet hate it.
 I remember before this film came out it seemed like I was the only human seeing ads anywhere I went no one I knew knew this film was coming out but everywhere I went I saw posters on busses trailers on YouTube it was everywhere but someone else even knew this film existed this was stage one in my bizarre obsession with this film.
Naturally after seeing all the ads I got an advert to preorder my ticket and I did 5 days after preorders went live not a single ticket had sold and so I bought the first ticket.
Upon my first viewing i walked home in the pouring rain downing cans of gin just to process what I saw I expect this movie to be bad but it is some how perfectly mediocre yet the world was acting as if it’s the worst xmen film when it’s not even the fifth worst. I thought the movie had driven me mad.

Two days after I first watched Dark Phoenix my brother asked me to go with him to see it in the cinema despite him not even seeing a trailer. I had to say yes. I had to watch this film again to try and understand why it left me so puzzled.

After the second viewing I spiralled I kept trying to understand why this film was so important to me I knew the film was mediocre forgettable bargain bin trash but for some reason it stayed with me. It haunted me.

So, I did what any reasonable human would. I looked to god but I saw that in the film its self the image of Christ was replicated and that through clever imagery and writing that Jean Grey is Christ reborn... think about it. In the last xmen film she stopped apocalypse and the end of days. In this film she is killed and then reborn in the position of the crucifixion which is a image replicated throughout the whole film. And in the end Jean sacrifices herself for the sins of man and to protect humanity.

With this spiritual revolution I began collecting everything I could for this movie I realised why it called to me. Dark Phoenix is god reborn and I am it’s Shepard I must spread the word I did everything I could to make the masses aware of this film I shitposted it, i retweeted marketing, I used the Dark Phoenix snapchat filter I even bought pins fucking dark Phoenix pins!

But alas my efforts where in vain the film under preformed and the masses considered it worse than the heresy that is the last stand.

Broken,Defeated and dejected I went to see Dark Phoenix a final time the last time. On its last showing at my cinema at 10:45am just me, three cans of gin some chocolate covered pretzels and my friend who I tried to enlighten to the ways of my new god.

And in the time when I felt darkest the movie played again and it was the most painful thing I have done. I realised that no one but me can truly understand how this movie is so bizarre and how in different viewings it can be either a mediocre movie, a spiritual experience or just plain bad boring trash.

This movie changed my life and pulled me out of a deep depression based on just how much it confused me and proved to me not everything in life is bland and boring it just depends on your outlook at different times.

Also Sophie Turner was great hope she gets more roles soon.

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