The Twilight Saga: New Moon

The Twilight Saga: New Moon

this for sure dont slap as hard as #1 and later installments but there's a lot of rly incredible histrionics like edward throwing bella across a room to protect her or bella screaming in agony over getting dumped like tone it down a little babe the man just domestic assaulted you. they lay it on so thick with the romeo + juliet stuff i love how completely unsubtle and dumb it is. the whole The Jorty Boys situation like if ur teenage daughter was missing gone without a trace and a grown man half nude save for his cut offs wandered out of the woods holding her seemingly lifeless body would u be like aw thanks buddy! well a good parent might be troubled by that but charlie is a horrible father. love that for him! what about when bella does a hundred different stupid self-destructive things to make edward psychically notice her but she rides a motorcycle into a rock and gets a head wound so jacob removes his t shirt to sop up her blood only to expose his disgusting little infant muscles fhfhfhfhfhfhfh they really went for it. this stuff is for teenagers it's fine but i'm too old for that!!! i love the idea of the werewolfs leaving loose pants around the woods. what if you yourself dear reader were in the woods and you found free pants just sitting next to a stump? would you take them? i would. and then the werewolf has no pants! they need a better system. that's on them. the vampires are STILL really racist! so sure it's not as good but you have to remember where the journey takes you. one day you'll thank yourself for not giving up. for me that's like two days from now when i see bella's spine snap, crackle, and pop while jacob gets super horny for her newborn!

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