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  • The Flintstones: On the Rocks

    The Flintstones: On the Rocks

    ★★★★½

    "My life as I know it is over. Cheers to a new beginning! Ah, forget it. You know, it is my belief that we are brought into life with a purpose. And it is my realization that my purpose is failure! For the last 25 years I woke up every morning with the security of love and friendship. And did I appreciate it? Absolutely not! In seconds I lost everything I cherish. But it wasn't seconds. It was years. I…

  • Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

    Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

    ★★★★

    Brad Cooper's vocal performance makes Rocket feel like the realest character in the whole dang MCU. There's this warmth to James Gunn's movies that is sorely lacking in the rest of the franchise. We see these colorful chumps actually caring about one another, and in turn we care about them! I love that the deaths here are permanent, and while sometimes there's an unnecessary gag undercutting what would have been perfectly fine drama, there are a lot more hits than…

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  • The Secret Life of Pets

    The Secret Life of Pets

    it makes Over the Hedge look like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

    there is no narrative thrust, no personality, no visual pizazz. the only joy I found in this movie was when the two main dogs sneak into a sausage factory and gorge themselves until they enter hallucinatory bliss. it's a silly sequence that does nothing to advance the plot, but that's exactly what Pets needed more of. these characters mostly just tumble from point A to B to…

  • Lilo & Stitch

    Lilo & Stitch

    ★★★★★

    I know it's not exactly a secret that Lilo & Stitch is good, but let me tell YOU, buster: motherfuckin' LILO and STITCH is REALLY good!

    Just look at Pleakley: he is a noodle alien with one eye, two tongues, and three slug-like appendages for legs. This character is magnificent to behold. All these characters are. The backgrounds! Such soft, lush paintings! No other Disney movie looks like this. Even the CG bits are blended quite well into the drawings. The…