Aspiring writer, actor, and all-around film enthusiast.

Favorite films

  • School of Rock
  • The Royal Tenenbaums
  • The Master
  • The Room

Recent activity

  • The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent


  • Modern Times


  • Ten Minutes to Live


  • A Scanner Darkly


Pinned reviews

  • The Northman

    The Northman


    "So now you do not fear a woman's blood?"

    The perfect blend of anthropology and mythology, The Northman is a movie that hurt my brain. This is Hamlet/The Lion King on ayahuasca. This is a brilliantly shot, brilliantly scored, moody, gorey, violent film combination of Shakespeare, Oedipus Rex, and other myths that dominate us today.

    Alexander Skarsgard was amazing. Anya Taylor Joy was even better. Nicole Kidman was terrible in the best possible way. Ethan Hawke and Willem Dafoe had…

  • Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore

    Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore


    "Do what is right. Not what is easy."

    My first thought as the credits rolled was: "Well, that was better than Morbius, but not as good as Pinocchio: A True Story."

    Some other thoughts I had while the movie was playing were:

    "Man, if there's an over-the-top Jude Law/Mads Mikkelsen sex scene I'll give this 5/5...oh...wait...nope, they're doing that thing where they can easily edit out the gay so it can be played for Chinese audiences, got it."

    "Man, they…

Recent reviews

  • The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent

    The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent


    "Have you seen Paddington 2?"

    Hit me way harder emotionally than I was expecting. A meta love letter to film examines under a filmbro lens, The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent follows Nic Cage as he plays a caricature of himself. This smartly written bit is based heavily on the internet's perception of Cage as an artist, but there is a ton of heart and warmth to his performance. Pedro Pascal was the biggest surprise here for me. His role…

  • Modern Times

    Modern Times


    A certified banger.

Popular reviews

  • The Batman

    The Batman


    "Vengeance doesn't help the past. Mine, or anyone else's."

    My first reaction to The Batman: if you were an emo in 2007, or if you've ever shopped at Hot Topic unironically, you will think this is the greatest film ever made.

    Matt Reeves knows what he's doing as a director. He makes a lot of choices here, and while not all of them pay off, I don't think anyone can say he wasn't passionate about this. He takes a page…