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  • Uncharted: Live Action Fan Film

    Uncharted: Live Action Fan Film

    ★★★½

    So Stephen Lang went from raping the optimistic but misguided youth with turkey basters to chewing cigars with the passion of mcu/dceu film twitter?

    Good for him tbh

    As someone who loved the shit out of the trilogy when I was younger, I adored this. It truly captures the QuickTime events, dialogue intersections, cut-scene to third-person camera angles and the overall feel that NaughtyDog became so notorious for. Extraordinarily competent as well.

  • Don't Worry, He Won't Get Far on Foot

    Don't Worry, He Won't Get Far on Foot

    ★★★½

    "Tim, you are very fucking cute, but sit down and shut the fuck up!"

    I certainly prefer when Van Sant is creating "hard-art" because the charming style that he applies to traditional narratives usually doesn't carry the entire runtime, but goddamn this is just a really cute movie to take your grandmother to; the sudden outbursts of chemistry and joy between the actors just sells itself (but oh my lord did those "imovie photo montage" shots leave me entirely bewildered).

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  • The Disaster Artist

    The Disaster Artist

    ★★★★

    Oh

    Edit 1: I hate all of you for making this my second most liked review

    Edit 2: Fuck, all, of you

    Edit 3: Wow, you've got to be kidding

    Edit 4: Now I'm just one of those cucks now whose number one review is some lazy bullshit huh

    Edit 5: Piss off Alberto, I'll put my edits where I damn well please

  • Rings

    Rings

    ★½

    "BIRDy!!!!!!"

    Cue loud noise whilst a bird hits the window 

    "DID u SeE ThE BIRDy?!?!?"

    Female protagonist says to boyfriend aka mr. Cardboard cutout

    "What BIRDy?!?!" 

    Says Mr. bOYFRIEND

    Female protagonist runs out of car and back a few metres, and points at a helpless creature. Lying there, with no life left (like the characters in this movie ayo!!)

    "THAT BIRDy!"

    Mr girlfriend says and then hugs cardboard cutout 


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