Magic Crystal ★★½

Bears a superficial resemblance to a motion picture.

Andy Lau plays an Aces Go Places-esque adventurer/thief/friend of cops who goes to Greece to help a friend, who has found a jade relic with magical powers and is being chased by the KGB, led by Richard Norton. He takes his useless sidekick Wong Jing along with him, as well as his nephew (aged six or thereabouts). There's a chase, and Cynthia Rothrock and some other guy as Interpol agents, and somehow the friend ends up captured while the kid gets the rock (this part doesn't quite make sense).

Back in the US, the friend's sister, Sharla Cheung, is attacked by men hired by Norton, and Andy defends her along with a creepy dumb guy who's stalking her. The all move into Andy's sister's house where the rock bonds emotionally with the kid and punishes the dumb guy for his creepiness by switching his hands and feet. Shih Kein appears around this point as Andy's cop buddy, then the KGB kills him. The dumb guy gets driven crazy by the rock and Sharla disappears from the story completely and with no explanation while Andy, Cynthia, Andy's sister, the other Interpol guy and Wong (for some reason) attack the KGB warehouse.

Then they all follow the kid to Greece (except for Andy's sister, a terrific fighter who also disappears from the narrative with no explanation, why wouldn't she go to Greece after her son?). They enact the last 20 minutes or so of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, except it makes slightly more sense. The End.

The only really "good" thing about the film are the fights, Andy Lau and the stunt team do a passable job, but Rothrock and Norton are pretty terrific in their scenes. And Wong, if nothing else, certainly has a knack for the surreal, even if it's through sheer accident. IMDB says Norton only had one outfit to wear for the entire shoot, they had to repeatedly dry the sweat out of it on set, which sounds about right.

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