The Irishman ★★★★★

working stiffs.

not sure i've ever mentioned this before but i have a very personal fear of not... feeling... correctly. like enormously important things are happening around you in a matter-of-fact, dissociative way that you can understand the significance of but you can't shake this idea that you're experiencing them wrong—like they're a thing you've been vaguely told and taught about so you're performing it like work when really you're supposed to be doing more, feeling more, being more. because that's the point, right? otherwise what are we doing here? needless to say this was a horror movie to me. there's a stretch in this that genuinely shook me to my core, you'll know it when you watch it; it viciously and disturbingly captures the feeling of going through the motions of the most consequential moment of not just your life but also that of the people you care about the most like it's a job. the feeling of one day something was there, you clocked in and suddenly it's broken now. you broke it. and you can feign otherwise and try and clock out but you're still going to have to live with that. and you'll carry it with you until you're old and weak and the weight sinks you into the dirt just like everyone else. anyway i hope it's possible to figure that shit out before it's too late.

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