• The Way Back

    The Way Back

    ★★★½

    Finding the Way Back trains a high school basketball team to dribble their way to playoffs as a troubled coach struggling with alcoholism and internal grief tries to inspire the players, with Affleck offering a slam dunk of a performance through raw naturalism and subtle empathy, and in spite of the overfamiliar predictability of both the underdog sports narrative and self-destruction plot, O’Connor commits to the match with sheer uplifting conviction.

  • Richard Jewell

    Richard Jewell

    ★★★½

    Richard Jewell reports on the mass media and federal investigative vilification of the eponymous security personnel who saved many lives from the Centennial Olympic Park bombing, with Eastwood providing a taut albeit procedural biographical character assassination that is powered by sterling performances from the cast, particularly Bates and Walter Hauser, despite the rushed development of Atlanta Journal-Constitution reporter Scruggs who improperly grew a conscience.

  • Blinded by the Light

    Blinded by the Light

    ★★½

    Blinded by the Light rapturously employs the music of Bruce Springsteen to illustrate a young British-Pakistani Muslim teen’s growth to adulthood amidst the backdrop of Thatcherism, racial tension and familial cultural conflict, allowing Chadha to take The Boss’ perspective on the American dream and aptly apply it to a different community, yet the sociopolitical themes fail to blend with the fluffy feel-good nature of the narrative and anchor Javed’s sudden musical fascination as featureless fanaticism. 

  • Christmas with the Kranks

    Christmas with the Kranks

    Christmas with the Kranks decides to allow an exhaustingly unpalatable couple skip the festivities (and they have every right to choose that), only for the sour neighbourhood to aggressively spread their desire for seasonal conformity through harassment; and after a series of unfunny albeit watchable shenanigans, the Kranks reverse their decision and require the help of the very people that damned them in the first place. Merry Christmas, I guess...

  • Queenpins

    Queenpins

    ★★½

    Queenpins snips into a multi-million dollar coupon scandal that sees two fairly efficient women cash in on a few bargains while raking in the dough, in a light comedic affair that benefits from its talented cast, particularly Walter Hauser, and amusingly ingenious scheme, but the inconsistent humour and uninspired storytelling quickly reaches its expiry date.

  • The Santa Clause

    The Santa Clause

    The Santa Clause wears Father Christmas' red suit, gradually grows a grey beard and is subjugated to archaic fat shaming as a toy salesman plumps in size after being magically non-contractually obliged to assume the all important role, in a guilty pleasure Christmas film that, despite the adult characters being absolutely reprehensible and far too much Tim Allen, is warming enough to watch with a cup of hot cocoa.

  • Saving Capitalism

    Saving Capitalism

    Saving Capitalism, in spite of the questionable title that wishes to save the current American economic system from political intervention, sees professor Reich offer surface-level ideas on how to instigate change for the well-being of the American people; but aside from a brief evolution of private ownership within the market economy, this documentary amounted to nothing more than a weak provocation for viewers to become socioeconomic activists.

  • Siren

    Siren

    Siren seduces Fierman to reprise her role as the hellish succubus from the effective segment "Amateur Night" in 'V/H/S', believing that fleshing out her alluring violence could substantiate a feature-length film; unfortunately the final result of a low-budget montage consisting of flat debauchery, insipid characters, a pointless underground club sub-plot and lack of horror failed to beguile.

  • Armageddon

    Armageddon

    Armageddon drills into a colossal asteroid heading to obliterate Earth, with Bay’s dramatic disaster blockbuster forcing heterosexual men to weep at the overpowering masculine energy that seeps through the space rock’s cracks, but the ridiculously bloated runtime never fulfils the annihilatory stakes at hand, settling for blatant character incompetence, Aerosmith, questionable science and explosive stupidity instead.

    Sorry Michael, but I did close my eyes and I did nearly fall asleep…

  • Home Alone: The Holiday Heist

    Home Alone: The Holiday Heist

    The Holiday Heist has cancelled Christmas, Maine, video games, ghosts, Malcolm McDowell, gingerbread cookies and the entire Home Alone franchise.

    I have nothing more to say...

  • Home Alone 4

    Home Alone 4

    Home Alone 4, where a recast Kevin somehow becomes a year younger from the original sequel, yet more uncharacteristically childish, and decides to spend Christmas in a luxury mansion amidst his parents divorce where he is never truly home alone, making you wonder why the hell anyone would bother with this festering recycled Windows Movie Maker turkey.

  • Home Alone 3

    Home Alone 3

    Home Alone 3, where a useless family willingly leave a self-satisfied ingenious eight-year old boy home alone who, while occasionally holding a firearm or two, combats a group of criminals working for a North Korean terrorist organisation with a series of inconceivably violent traps that would undoubtedly have killed them all. Yeah, no thanks.