• Silent Hill

    Silent Hill

    ★★½

    Truthfully not awful, but the story is just atrocious and is carried by the film's fairly cool visuals at *times*. You could have literally done a word for word adaptation of any of the first 3 games and the movie would be so great or at least... serviceable for the fans and enjoyable for horror fans.

  • An Officer and a Spy

    An Officer and a Spy

    ★★★★

    Rather cold, but calculated within the plausible realm of the audience's attention span, this wordy procedural works at the speed of sound, but could learn a few things from Paths of Glory's simplicity and matter-of-fact-ness. Still, I found this to be quite enjoyable and another solid outing from Dujardin.

  • The Invisible Man

    The Invisible Man

    ★★★★

    This should be mentioned when talking about modernized adaptations that work almost, if not better, than its source.

  • Fright Night

    Fright Night

    ★★★

    The club scene is magnificent and the entire reason for this score. I don't like vampire movies.

  • Teen Wolf Too

    Teen Wolf Too

    Hi everybody, my name is Cool Jason Bateman and I use my red rocket dog cock to have big sex with half the school except im gunna sideline the girl that loves me because im just a dirty dawg. Punch punch.

  • Sexy Beast

    Sexy Beast

    ★★★★½

    I used to be a Don but now I'm a Gal. Floored. Stunning. I want to shoot myself because I don't have the inclination to be this stylish but makes me kind of want to try.

  • The Human Voice

    The Human Voice

    ★★★★

    *insert talking heads lyric*

    Baba yetu! Almodovar knows pain much like he knows desire. Torment. Anger. Compliance. Sigh.

  • Antebellum

    Antebellum

    ½

    What's the twist? Did all of you forget the first trailer? I know its been a while but everything is right there.

    STILL...

    Let's just make The Village but also let's strip it down, do nothing for 100 minutes and call it a day.

  • The Best of Times

    The Best of Times

    ★★★

    I cannot believe that Robin Williams, God rest his beautiful soul, could have been on any football team. Ever.

  • The Trial of Joan of Arc

    The Trial of Joan of Arc

    ★★★½

    Straight up no bullshit filmmaking that doesn't mask a damn thing-- how appropriately intimidating!

  • One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

    One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

    ★★★★

    Life really is about being a McMurphy and treating everyone around you like they aren't crazy tbh.

  • Howling II: Stirba - Werewolf Bitch

    Howling II: Stirba - Werewolf Bitch

    This is easily one of the least enjoyable entertaining experiences I've had with a film. Unintelligible, unenthusiastic, unfathomable, yet uniquely unwatchable. Should have stuck with the title Werewolf Bitch.