"Climax begins with an overhead shot of a bloodied woman stumbling across a frozen expanse, eventually collapsing and writhing around so as to make a grotesque red snow angel. It ends with a title card reading DEATH IS AN EXTRAORDINARY EXPERIENCE, the huge letters projected upside down. Subtle it ain’t – though if you wanted subtle you probably shouldn’t be watching a Gaspar Noé film.

This is, after all, the writer-director who came to international notoriety with Irreversible (2002), the…

I wasn't sure I'd seen it. For a whole month after I first saw the film, I couldn't stop questioning whether I'd just imagined it. Finally watching it for a second time, and waiting for the scene to happen, I found myself convinced that I'd imagined it. But no, there it was, right where I'd left it. As Elio is drifting off under a tree, the Sufjan Stevens song starts playing and a kind of frame burn effect starts to…

Wow. I don't even know where to begin with this.

Murder on the Orient Express is the worst film I've seen this year by a mile. Not a single moment worked for me. Kenneth Branagh is a mediocre actor and a bad director, but what precious little talent he previously may have had is nowhere to be found here. The direction is laughably bad. A special mention has to go to the shot in which the murder victim is discovered,…