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  • Ready Player One

    Ready Player One

    ½

    I really tried to go into this movie with an open mind, as funny as that sounds. I really, genuinely did. But I hate this movie. I hate this movie in a real, human way. This movie is a celebration of the young, mediocre white male, their fetishization of women, and their unshakable worship of base level pop culture references. This movie is a 500 foot tall statue of The Pickle Rick wearing a novelty t-shirt featuring Deadpool in front of the TARDIS, towering over the crumbled ruins of artistic merit.

    Steven Spielberg Retire Bitch

  • Venom

    Venom

    ★½

    Things this movie has that 99% of Marvel studios movies don't:
    -anti-Elon Musk agenda
    -Tom Hardy's perfectly plump, pink lips
    -Jenny Slate
    -canonical human/monster romance
    -Heart