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  • Mission: Impossible - Fallout

    Mission: Impossible - Fallout

    ★★★★★

    I'm afraid I'll be dead before an MI movie comes out where they bring back Ethan's love of Limp Bizkit.

  • Happy Death Day

    Happy Death Day

    ★★★★

    I did not roll up to this movie expecting to like it as much as I did but that's just how it be sometimes, on this bitch of an earth.

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  • Ready Player One

    Ready Player One

    ½

    I really tried to go into this movie with an open mind, as funny as that sounds. I really, genuinely did. But I hate this movie. I hate this movie in a real, human way. This movie is a celebration of the young, mediocre white male, their fetishization of women, and their unshakable worship of base level pop culture references. This movie is a 500 foot tall statue of The Pickle Rick wearing a novelty t-shirt featuring Deadpool in front of the TARDIS, towering over the crumbled ruins of artistic merit.

    Steven Spielberg Retire Bitch

  • Lady Bird

    Lady Bird

    ★★★★½

    Napoleon Dynamite for leftist millennials.