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  • The Room

    The Room

    ½

    I’m fed up with this movie.

  • Big Trouble in Little China

    Big Trouble in Little China

    ★★★★½

    It truly is all in the reflexes for Carpenter, an artist who is instinctively drawn to the pastiche yet also understands how to meld and twist tropes into something uniquely appealing. Here he creates a world were where the pop culture of the present/recent past coexist (Burt Reynolds-esque CB truckers films living side-by-side with Shaw Brother’s martial-arts mysticism) and then frames it through a subversion of a classic Ford tale, while mixing in a good dose of Hawksian camaraderie and…

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  • God's Not Dead

    God's Not Dead

    ½

    You know that scene in 21 Jump Street when Channing Tatum writes a bunch of 4s on the whiteboard, says some gibberish, and yells "Fuck you science!" while high on drugs? Well God's Not Dead is basically the 113 minute version of that scene.

  • Psycho

    Psycho

    ★½

    Unfortunately this disproves my theory that any classic film would be better if it included a scene of Vince Vaughn jerking off.