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  • College Coach

    College Coach

    ★★★½

    A better version of The Program a full 60 years before The Program came out.

  • The Lighthouse

    The Lighthouse

    ★★★★

    Not nearly as neatly paced or focused as The Witch, Eggers' follow-up drunkenly staggers throughout its runtime getting lost in deep period details and the overwhelming force of both leads. Eggers may rely too much on shtick (some of the macabre flourishes almost seemed unnecessary to what could be a bare-bones psychological sea shanty drama) but that shtick is still fresh enough to distinguish itself from the mostly bland elevated-horror brand and assists Pattinson and Dafoe's work rather that distract…

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  • God's Not Dead

    God's Not Dead

    ½

    You know that scene in 21 Jump Street when Channing Tatum writes a bunch of 4s on the whiteboard, says some gibberish, and yells "Fuck you science!" while high on drugs? Well God's Not Dead is basically the 113 minute version of that scene.

  • Psycho

    Psycho

    ★½

    Unfortunately this disproves my theory that any classic film would be better if it included a scene of Vince Vaughn jerking off.