Dark Shadows ★★½

Tim Burton, Danny Elfman, and Johnny Depp tossed the classic Horror-themed soap opera "Dark Shadows" onto a bed, then proceeded to have sex on top of it. Err.... ok, maybe not, but this is just more of the same from these guys. Depp is good and plays his role completely straight, and there are some genuinely funny comedic moments sprinkled throughout. As was the case with "Men in Black III," this is a middle of the road Hollywood film that is ultimately forgettable. Jackie Earle Haley, who portrays a drunken groundskeeper named Willy, is probably the best character in the entire movie, and though his role is minor and he only has a few lines, he manages to upstage most of his fellow castmembers. Also, it was cool to see Alice Cooper randomly show up to sing a few hit songs at Barnabus' shingdig. That alone may be worth the price of admission for some of you. Final verdict: Worth a rental.