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  • Lady Bird

    Lady Bird

    ★★

    I just wanted to get this out there before the site started making the end-of-year composite list: This movie fucking blows. It's just a bunch of shitty characters being shitty people for 90 shitty minutes. Greta Gerwig can fuck right off.

  • Star Wars: The Last Jedi

    Star Wars: The Last Jedi

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Probably the worst star wars movie*. There. I said it.

    Just to elaborate, a little:

    The entire Finn/Rose plot was a waste of time, and it was boring to boot.

    The whole "running out of fuel let's slowly creep along for an hour of screen time" plot was also boring.

    Bringing back Yoda felt like fan-service and made me cringe.

    Blowing Leia out of the ship and then having her do her best Yandu/Mary Poppins impression to float back on…

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  • Reservoir Dogs

    Reservoir Dogs

    ★★★★

    Performances : 7.4/10
    Story : 8.5/10
    Production : 8.3/10
    Overall : 8.07/10

    I'm part of a secret society. I'm probably going to be run out of the room at our next meeting for talking about this but I just have to get it out...I think Reservoir Dogs is a much better film than Pulp Fiction in pretty much every way.

    Actually I have no idea if that's even a minority opinion, I just thought I'd play it up. The fact…

  • The Lego Movie

    The Lego Movie

    ★★★★

    Performances : 7.1/10
    Story : 8.4/10
    Production : 9.6/10
    Overall : 8.36/10

    God damnit. I promised myself I wouldn't be one of those people that came out of this and took to their keyboards exclaiming "Everything IS awesome". It seemed like such a hyperbolic and empty thing to say but seriously, everything about this movie was fucking awesome.

    Phil Lord and Chris Miller have officially cemented themselves at the top of my favorite filmmakers list that doesn't really exist in…