Thomas Nassiff’s review published on Letterboxd:
So many people work on these movies and they spend so much money on them that it should be way more difficult to write stories this bad and actually get them filmed. Completely nonsensical story with garbage characters.
A fascinating blockbuster to follow Top Gun: Maverick, in the sense that both films egregiously and frequently replicate scenes from decades-old prequels, but Maverick is able to do this with charm, laughs, fun, and unironic emotional buy-in from a literally fist-pumping audience, while this movie does it with a crashing thud. They could have written more than one half-attempt at a joke after the first hour to lighten this thing up and keep it moving a bit.
Two of myriad ways this could have gone that would have improved it:
1. Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard cowboy dino wranglers in the mountains for 90 minutes. At least this would have been dumb but potentially fun.
2. Jurassic World: Godzilla vs Kong for 120 minutes where the humans are only kind of around as a formality.
Other assorted notes: Laura Dern deserves better; Jeff Goldblum is in a different movie but perhaps the best movie, the puppy raptor is Good; the sound of the brachiosaurus whining / wailing is hard-wired into my brain and using it in an film is emotional terrorism.