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  • Alien: Covenant

    Alien: Covenant

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Let it be clear, this is a good film. A good film in the Alien franchise is a real rare bird. I put it below Alien, and Aliens, but above Prometheus, Alien 3 and Resurrection, and the Alien v. Predator failures. Prometheus had the distinct displeasure of asking a lot of questions and leading nowhere in the film while also setting up this film. Trust me, if you have kept up with the series, the payoff in this film is…

  • Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

    Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    There was a lot of bad with this film, yes. However there was a lot of good. So much good that I nearly put it at a 3.5 but I forgot about the gimmick cast and had to knock off a half a point but we will get in to that. Let us start off with a qualifier though: this is in no way a bad film. It isn't. It simply isn't an important one. If the first Guardians was…

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  • Kong: Skull Island

    Kong: Skull Island

    ½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Cringe. I tried to count on my hands how many Vietnam movie tropes they copied but I literally lost count. Shall we list them?

    Lighting

    Sunglasses reflecting bombs shot

    Helicopters blaring music while flying

    White Rabbit (you bastards)

    Actually the entire soundtrack

    They are all guilty of using Creedance but still

    JOHN C. REILLY'S NAME WAS MARLOW (you actual bastards)

    Traveling on a trash boat up a river

    John C. Reilly's character was Dennis Hopper's from Apocalypse Now

    More complaints:…