Favorite films

  • Eyes Wide Shut
  • Happy New Year
  • The Brother from Another Planet
  • Dementia

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  • Gold Diggers of 1933

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  • Top Gun: Maverick

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  • Latter Days

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  • Spontaneous

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Recent reviews

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  • Gold Diggers of 1933

    Gold Diggers of 1933

    β˜…β˜…β˜…Β½

    πŸ”₯HAYS CODE BURN IN HELLπŸ”₯. Imagine if we could've been hearing cannibalism jokes in transatlantic accents all throughout the great depressionπŸ€¦β€β™‚οΈ

  • Top Gun: Maverick

    Top Gun: Maverick

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    So i go to the movie theatre at noon on a tuesday right after getting out of my second trip to the dentist in two weeks and saw Top Gun: Maverick with half my face numb and no more than semi-conscious the entire time. The beginning was kinda boring and basically just a retread of the first movie, so I took the liberty of going to get a hot dog and fries during the nauseatingly american scene where miles teller…

Popular reviews

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  • Bratz: Genie Magic

    Bratz: Genie Magic

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    "So... what's your sign?"
    "Uh.. sign?"
    "Well I'm a leo."
    "............It was very nice to meet you, Leo." *runs away*

    LMAO BEST MOVIE EVER. This interaction singlehandedly shaped me more than any other moment in all of film history

  • Tom Cruise: An Eternal Youth

    Tom Cruise: An Eternal Youth

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    I, too, am unreasonably obsessed with the man this doc calls "the Dorian Gray of America." I loved the part where they tried to imply that Stanley Kubrick personally orchestrated Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman's relationship breakdown leading up to their subsequent divorce so that he could properly realize his artistic vision on Eyes Wide Shut. Unauthorized celebrity biopics fucking rule.