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  • Truth or Dare?: A Critical Madness

    Truth or Dare?: A Critical Madness

    It's hard not to give it credit simply for existing: aye, it's nonsensical, seedy, and has no sense of pacing, but I can't claim to have done anything this stupidly ambitious when I was 18. Magnificently bad acting and dialogue give it a canpy value, but for my money it's the endless scenes of the killer driving, accompanied by a repetitive, menacingly jaunty theme, that secure this film's place among the most joyfully bad '80s slashers. Fearless in its refusal to admit the limitations of videotape, synth music, or no-budget gore effects.

  • The Creeping Terror

    The Creeping Terror

    ½

    There is in film production a concept informally known as "shoe leather": it refers to the scenes of characters walking back and forth across rooms, picking up the phone and dialing all the numbers, adjusting the mirrors in their car, what have you. Basically, all of the little bits and pieces of quotidian activity in between the actual incidents, the stuff that even a halfway decent director and editor will know to keep out of the finished film. The Creeping…

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  • Suspiria

    Suspiria

    ★★★★

    I'm erring on the side of conservatism with the star rating, because I can at least somewhat imagine growing impatient with the film's most obvious flaw, its overreaching incorporation of the 1977 Lufthansa hijacking by the PFLP, which doesn't really pay off the way I think the film thinks it does (contrast with the "psychic scars of Nazism" material, which pays off just fine), and which adds quite a bit of running time to a movie that should have thought…

  • Ralph Breaks the Internet

    Ralph Breaks the Internet

    ★½

    The Emoji Movie with better lighting design and more pandering. Between this and the Lion King teaser, I've forgotten what it feels like to not hate Disney.