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  • Shepherds and Butchers

    Shepherds and Butchers

    ★½

    I'll bet this gave Rob Brydon enough material for at least three meals out.

    At least Andrea Riseborough actually attempts an Afrikaans accent, though sadly, her character doesn't really come into it until about seventy minutes in, enlivening earnestly narcotized courtroom cross-examinations with the film's one great scene.

  • Prometheus

    Prometheus

    ½

    Makes you appreciate what a damn fine job Rogue One did with the continuity of the New Hope-era technology, perfectly replicating the terminals, computer banks and control panels of 1977.

    Here, despite being a prequel, the tech of Prometheus has advanced on 1979's Alien by a millennia, with every instance of humanity's dumbest scientists using computers built around sexy, 360 interface eye candy; all floating graphical windows with video playing in them, the typography flickering and animating in response to…

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  • Cannibal Holocaust

    Cannibal Holocaust

    ★★★★

    "It's offensive, dishonest and inhumane."

    I apply these words from one of the film's minor characters, not in response to the infamous Video Nasty scenes of blood, guts and gorging on human flesh, but the abhorrent defilement of a primitive culture as entertainment for the consumption of Western audiences.

    That I was ultimately more disturbed by the flagrant abuse of journalistic ethics than any of the cannibal dismemberments and ended up rooting for the natives, speaks to the wholly unexpected…

  • Maggie

    Maggie

    Moves slower than a zombie shuffle and the greyscale cinematography only adds to how tiresome this feels.

    You don't put such a huge presence like Schwarzenegger in such a small film.

    You don't give the Governator a shotgun and then have him not use it.

    You don't put an action star in a father-daughter drama and expect him to bring the narrative's expected range of conflicted emotions.

    This is woefully misconceived, right down to the most unconvincing family unit to…