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  • Dark Passage

    Dark Passage

    ★★★★½

    In To Have and Have Not, we watch Bogie falling in love with Bacall and the beginning of that famous off-screen relationship.

    In Dark Passage, we fall in love with Bacall by watching her through Bogie's eyes, the camera thrillingly taking the first-person point of view of his escaped convict Vincent Parry for the first hour—this in the same year of Lady in the Lake, which employed the same gimmick for the entire movie.

    It doesn't feel at all like…

  • The Dark Tower

    The Dark Tower

    ½

    Staggering to think that It isn't the worst Stephen King adaptation of 2017.

    At least that semi-competently offered some of the iconography of King's crowning achievement, whereas this franchise non-star takes a beloved series of books and renders them as the worst kind of shoddily effects-laden, YA-targeted drivel.

    Not since Tom Hanks put on a black hat in Road to Perdition has a leading man so unconvincingly and epically failed at playing evil as Matthew McConaughey's blow-dried devil.

    This spiritlessly…

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  • Bottom of the World

    Bottom of the World

    ½

    Is bottom of the barrel for Jena Malone.

    Sub-Lynchian nightmare that's lifeless, dull, trite, melodramatic, plagued by cheap sound design and propped up with unconvincing, cardboard characters.

    Malone twirls, gyrates and does lots of sexy lip biting over a series of dissolves in hallways lit by red bulbs; the type of set-up I remember being the epitome of indie edginess in 1994.

    She also tells a story of abusing a mentally disabled 'vegetable' when she was a kid, a monologue…

  • It

    It

    Unscary CGI clown floatin' kids in the Upside Down.