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  • The Slumber Party Massacre

    The Slumber Party Massacre

    ★★★★

    I like that this has no pillow fights.

  • Crash

    Crash

    ★★½

    The only scene that works for me in this film is the car dealership. For a film about a very specific philia this film does so little to show the taboo nature of such sexuality. I'm not saying Cronenberg HAD to show us anything, but having more scenes in which the characters dealt more with the outside world or SOME interaction with "normalcy" definitely would have provided some much-needed variety from the same old, same old pornography. This doesn't build or amount to anything so by the umpteenth time I'm watching attractive actors have ugly sex I get really really bored.

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  • This Is 40

    This Is 40

    ½

    NO, JUDD APATOW, I DO NOT WANT TO SEE ANOTHER IPHONE VIDEO OF YOUR FAMILY. THEY'RE NEITHER CUTE OR FUNNY.

  • John Wick: Chapter 2

    John Wick: Chapter 2

    ★★★★

    Finally, a trilogy featuring Keanu Reeves and Laurence Fishburne we can all enjoy.

    (this is assuming there's a chapter 3, which there undoubtedly will be)

    (this is assuming john wick: chapter 3 will be better than the matrix revolutions, which it undoubtedly will be)