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  • Bad Boys II

    Bad Boys II

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    “I’ve got so much brass up my ass, I could be playing ‘The Star-Spangled Banner.’”

    For better or for worse, Michael Bay is the most American filmmaker in cinema history. His movies are the audiovisual equivalent of shotgunning a six-pack of Mountain Dew while stockpiling guns atop the Washington Monument. And like America itself, they’re rife with contradictions: Two black cops disrupt a KKK rally only to eventually find themselves forced to enlist the help of a jailed Klansman. The…

  • Mandy

    Mandy

    ★★★★★

    “In the real world, definitions of good and evil are rarely cut-and-dry, and all too often goodness is trampled upon while evil fails to receive its just reward. As such, stories of faith ought to show the faithful audience what they’re really up against in their fight to carry out holy lives in the midst of a wicked world. Mandy—a narrative crawling with drug abuse, attempted rape, murder, misogyny and pyromania—certainly fits that description. Its visually-arresting saga of death, rebirth…

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  • Funny Games

    Funny Games

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    [Criterion edition—DVD]

    Or, Haneke, der (John) Zorn Gottes

    “The wind blows us where it will. Makes sailing more fun.”

    Between the clearly telegraphed conceit of implicating the audience in the violence it witnesses in the media and the combination of that huge red boldface title card with a tidal wave of misanthropic speed-metal-jazz, it’d be easy enough to accuse Haneke of being unsubtle here. That, however, would be a discredit to his masterful use of silence and stark realism.

    It’s…

  • Uncut Gems

    Uncut Gems

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I’M GONNA COME

    I’ve never been more emotionally invested in a basketball game in my entire life. 

    My God, what a movie. The grim wit and psychotic charisma of early Scorsese on a collision course with the nihilistic excess of late-period Korine. Simply stunning. Cannot praise the work of every single person involved highly enough.

    (Tried to think up a clever pun on a Sandler movie title to use here but frankly I’m so dumbfounded right now I can barely type out this sentence.)

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  • Flight of the Conchords: Live in London

    Flight of the Conchords: Live in London

    ★★★★★

    🎶 They used to be slayin’ and slayin’ and slayin’, and now they’re gayin’ and gayin’ and gayin’

    All my love and respect to queer icons Stana and Anats.

  • Gone with the Wind

    Gone with the Wind

    ★★★★

    “You shall have the biggest and the most vulgar ring in Atlanta.“

    True, it’s basically 100% pure unfiltered insidious pro-Confederacy propaganda from start to finish—but fuck me if the shit doesn’t look and sound absolutely magnificent. And Olivia de Havilland, of course, is a treasure among treasures.