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  • Chronicle

    Chronicle

    ★★½

    Hi my name is Max Landis, I've been credibly accused of sexual assault by at least a dozen women, my being a serial rapist is an open secret in Hollywood but nobody dares hold me accountable because me and my dad (who got three actors including two children killed back in the 80s btw) are so rich and powerful--please watch my movie that I was banned from the set of because I made the female cast and crew members so…

  • April Fool's Day

    April Fool's Day

    ★★

    "Hey Did You Know Rich People Treat Each Other Like Shit?" The Movie.

    I spent the whole movie thinking that was the poor man's Scout Taylor-Compton, and it wasn't until just now that I realized it was actually Scout Taylor-Compton. Who I guess is the poor man's version of herself. That's the most interesting observation I have about this movie. Def in the bottom tier of the 2000s slasher remakes; way tacky and not in a good way. Boring af kills too.

    Cf. Bikini Girls on Ice

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  • Toolbox Murders

    Toolbox Murders

    ★★★★★

    The film that opened my eyes to Tobe Hooper's brilliance was neither The Texas Chain Saw Massacre nor Poltergeist (though I had previously seen both) but rather Toolbox Murders. I was 18 years old, living with my parents and unemployed, having withdrawn from college after a disastrous first semester. It was the beginning of a four-year spiral of depression, isolation and substance abuse: the darkest period of my life thus far.

    I rented Toolbox Murders from my local Hollywood Video…

  • Waves

    Waves

    ★½

    Apparently this hasn't been seen/reviewed by anybody in my letterboxd circle yet, and I know it's gonna get a bunch of Oscars and shit so let me be the first to say FUCK THIS MOVIE.

    It's nothing but a naive white perspective on African American trauma that views white pain with compassion and black pain as spectacle, dressed up with a bunch of flashy film-bro stylistics and superficial "whoa Tarkovsky" masturbatory references, all to disguise the fundamental problem that this…