Alien

Alien ★★★★★

Sir Ridley Scott's epic atmospheric horror chiller space adventure set aboard the Nostromo that features a cast of memorable characters including a badass captain, a pair of wise cracking mechanics, a unique doctor of science, an unlikely heroine, and an alien creature thingy that likes to pop out at the craziest times. Deep sleep. Dallas's beard. Distress call. You would think spaceships would have bigger computer screens? The way John Hurt holds a cigarette. Parker's headband. Brett's Hawaiian shirt. Lambert's messy hair. Ash's facial expressions. Can you run in a spacesuit? Brett and Parker are my motherfuckers. Harry Dean Stanton's cigarette lighter. Ripley's sneakers. A pussycat who meows that I actually like. Fuck! The special effects are light years ahead of their time and they ain't no joke. Space breathing. Why is Ash so intelligent? Maybe it's his smarty sounding accent. If you see a pod fucker creepy creep thingy, run like a motherfucker in the opposite direction. The first time Ripley takes charge. Kane's mask. Oozey ooze. Acid bleed. Parker's bubblegum. When I get older I want to look like Dallas. The way Alien is shot sets up the spooky atmospheric mood to perfection. Every member of the crew of the Nostromo serves an important purpose. There's no space fodder red shirt wearing fuckers in Alien. The way Brett says right. Space food will kill you. The scene with Kane on the dinner table has to be one of the coolest and memorable scenes in cinematic history. You can fuck up an alien fucker with a fork. Cattle prods are dangerous. Never go searching for a missing kitty cat especially when there's an alien fucker thingy loose on your spaceship, that smart pussy fucker can find its own way back to its litter box. The first time you see the super-sized version of the alien creature. How many cigarettes has Lambert smoked? Cigarettes do calm your nerves you know. The obvious sexual tension between Ripley, Dallas, and Lambert. The all knowing Mother. Ash must workout because he sure is strong. Spaceship Playboy Centerfolds. Beating the human out your ass. Parker is my favorite character but everyone kicks so much ass. Ash's disappearing smile. Jonesy knows what's up. When in doubt, blow your spaceship up. I love how Sir Ridley teases the audience with the alien fucker. The short glimpses bring so much more anticipation excitement to the film. Flamethrower guns are hot. Ripley vs. Alien is almost as badass as Rocky vs. Drago. Ripley's panties. Alien drool. Alien squeal. Alien skydive. Unlikely Captain's log. Alien is the motherfucker. Sigourney Weaver proves girls kick ass too as the quintessential heroine and her role forever changed the way we look at female action stars. The supporting cast is to die for. Yaphet Kotto is the real deal as Parker. Harry Dean Stanton reminds the world that he's one of the greatest actors alive as Brett. Tom Skerritt oozes coolness as Dallas. Ian Holm aces the creepy fucker look as Ash. Alien and John Carpenter's The Thing are my favorite atmospheric horror films. The theatrical version is the superior version. I prefer it because we are left wondering about Dallas and there isn't a need for a catfight. We already have a pimp cat named Jonesy. My favorite Sir Ridley film. My favorite film in the Alien franchise. A near flawless 5-star masterpiece that I can't recommend enough.

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