The Dark Knight ★★★★½

The mother of all comic book man superhero sequels finds Batman battling a baddie that not only terrorizes Gotham City in every way you could imagine but haunts your ass with his mesmerizing performance that in my opinion is one of the greatest performances in cinematic history. The mask in his hand. Bootleg Point Break moment. Backstab. Colonel Sharp? Hello school bus. The makeup on his face. The voice you never forget. I prefer Gary Oldman as a baddie but Gordon is the shit. Batman uses a gun? Bat groupies? When Batman talks he sounds like he needs to shit but can't. Sir Michael Caine is a legend. Where did Katie Holmes go? Harvey Dent's hair. Courtroom shenanigans. Who would you rather fuck? Maggie or Katie? Red Redding. Julia Roberts's older cooler brother. The laugh that silences the room. Spawn? Magic motherfucker. Clowns scare me. The British American Psycho wears a suit like a boss. The stories he tells that freak you the fuck out. Why So Serious? Why So Serious? Why So Serious? Because he's motherfuckin' Joker that's why. Bat cellphone. Who knew bats could fly? Bat airplane jet? I would let Maggie interrogate me any day of the week. Hanging bat? The calling card that tells you he ain't no joke. No joke home videos. Bat fundraiser. DNA hijacking. Party crashing like a motherfuckin' rockstar. Razor tattoo. Who would win in a fight? Christian Bale, Adam West, or LEGO Batman? Bat extortion. The Breakfast Club geek. Yes Bruce Wayne can ride a motorcycle pretty damn good, but he ain't no Prince. Funeral crashing. Fallen hero. Batman likes disco nightclubs? An intense as fuck game of Heads or Tails. I think Christian Bale should star in True Detective season 2. Who the fuck calls Batman, The Batman? Fall guy. Lucky coin. Shotgun surprise, Joker style. RPG bazooka. I wish I could drive the Batmobile. Finger guns are explosive. The greatest game of chicken ever. That fuckin' look Heath gives in his jail cell. Holy Fuck! He is not Heath Ledger, he is Joker. Good cop, Bad Batman. Fuck rules! Batman freaking out like Christian Bale on the set of Terminator Salvation. Impossible choice. Neck crack. Exploding phone. Romantic proposal. Burnt Harvey. The way Joker looks with his head sticking out of the police car window. The district attorney with two faces. Stack of money. Changing of the guard. Nurse Joker. Hospital kaboom. Hellbent Harvey. Unlucky driver. Tiny Lister is almost as scary as Joker. The Battle of the Boats. The vote. It always pays to have Morgan Freeman in your corner, he's played God at least twice. Nice doggies. Unreliable fuckers. Joker fly. Your Ace. I know you're still laughing somewhere Heath. Harvey is a fuckin' nut job. Bat savior. The true hero. Fuck you Bat Signal! Let's make a Joker Signal and run around all crazy and shit. Christian Bale makes a great Batman. Christopher Nolan is a fantastic director and I thank him for rebooting Batman the right way. But when I think of TDK, I only think of one man the late Heath Ledger. The sequel to Batman Begins is his film. The story is his story. He owns every scene. He's so fuckin' amazing I still can't watch The Dark Knight Rises because Heath is gone. How can you have a Batman movie without the Real Dark Knight, the unforgettable Joker? Sleep well Heath.

Todd Gaines liked these reviews