Whiplash ★★★★★

Damien Chezelle's tale of a boy, his drums, and a teacher that speaks ever so loudly, and carries the biggest stick of badass this side of the Academy Awards, in one of the most heart pounding cardiac arrest breathtaking intense movies I've ever seen. The opening beat. The opening shot. The first time J.K. Simmons speaks. Groovy funky jazzy music makes all movies better. RIFIFI is the shit. Carter Burke? I knew Miles Teller was going to be special after watching Footloose. If you play the drums long enough, you might start sweating like a pig. Could you imagine J.K. Simmons at band camp? Hot ladies that tell jokes are the best. Alarm clocks can be the motherfucker. Milk the what? J.K.'s hat. Imagine the dropout rate if all teachers were like Fletcher? Trumpet spit. The way Fletcher shakes his head. Don Logan, Joker, and Fletcher walk into a bar. Who walks out? My money is on Fletcher. The nice nicknames Fletcher calls his students. Happy Meals from McDonalds might cause you to lose your scholarship. Andrew's reflexes. I think Fletcher watched Deliverance at least 97 times. Band-Aids help cover up blood. Pizza place footsie. Whiplash isn't good for your blood pressure. I bet the pharmaceutical companies wished we all watched it on infinite repeat. I wish I looked as badass as J.K. does in a black t-shirt. Fletcher says FUCK more than I do. I think I'm still breathing. Dinner table fun. Competitive drumming is the motherfucker. Miles Teller's swag. Bloody ice. I don't know if I want to punch or hug Fletcher. Tempo ain't no joke. Unlucky leprechaun. Point Break moment. You shouldn't talk on your cellphone and drive. Why wasn't Miles Teller nominated for his off the chain performance as Andrew? Popcorn is more yummy when shared with someone you love. Charlie Parker is the motherfucker. The "Jazz Lounge" scene is crucial to Whiplash. It allows you to finally catch your breath, and helps you focus for the finale. The awkward phone call. The way Fletcher reads minds and eyes. Sometimes you just gotta wing it. The motherfucker of all grand finales. Holy motherfucker! Whiplash might just be the best film of the 2010's. It is by far the best movie of 2014. J.K. Simmons is lights fuckin' out as Fletcher, and gives one of the best acting performances ever. He's been money since Oz, and it's awesome to see him finally get world wide recognition. Damien Chezelle is the real deal. Miles Teller will one day win an Oscar. Whiplash is motherfucker of all motherfuckers, and it earns my highest recommendation.

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