Scream ★★★★½


1) First off, make sure you have a good copy of the movie. We don't want death-inducing audio/video delays or censored goods. Contrary to what some people might say, the good stuff doesn't always come late into the picture!

2) Do not answer your phone while watching the movie, especially to strangers. Who knows what creep might be at the end of the other line, ugh. Plus, nobody wants to hear you chit chat during the movie. "Hello?", "Who's There?" - those sentences will get you killed one day, bruh...

3) Do not be a party-pooper. Just because a movie doesn't want to be super deadly serious like 'The Conjuring' or 'Mopey Superheroes 2016 (AKA BvS)', it doesn't mean it can't be killer. Horror ain't all demon possessions and shit, yo! Get yourself confortable, relax, and have fun.

4) Maybe a couple of drinks could make it more fun, but not too many though. We all know what happens to those who drink a lot of booze in these situations, am I right?

5) Don't close your eyes! As scary as it might be, you have to fight your fears! Life's difficult, how the hell do you expect to survive in this world? Even if you're a horror-movie virgin, you will make it through!

6) Pay attention to the damn flick! Haven't you been to school? KNOWLEDGE IS POWER! Who knows, just that lack of movie trivia might slice up a life opportunity one day.

7) Don't split up. We all know what happens when your group decides to part ways instead of staying together. I mean, it can still go well, but chances are the probability of you loving the flick will be safer if you're accompanied by a few of your best friends.

8) Don't ever say "I'll be right back" and then leave, be it because you need the bathroom or because you heard a strange noise. You might get hung up on something and miss out on several moments of sheer awesomeness, and that's totally on you.

9) Do not compare it to anything else. Saying the wrong things and getting into other people's business can get you crucified, you know?

10) The seemingly most obvious answer isn't always the correct one, but keep guessing! Remember: everyone is a suspect! The twists and turns Wes Craven has methodically prepared for you are made to shock!

That's all I've got, folks. Have fun, and don't forget: movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative!

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