Favorite films

  • Mulholland Drive
  • Waitress
  • Spirited Away
  • Rosemary's Baby

Recent activity

  • Grease


  • Alien Resurrection


  • Let Me In


  • Let the Right One In


Pinned reviews

  • A.I. Artificial Intelligence

    A.I. Artificial Intelligence


    Steven Spielberg’s mid stage masterpiece. It’s not my favorite of his films, but it is in my top three—a huge jump from when I called it the worst of his films that had received classic status. I’ve gone back to that review and added a disclaimer that says I don’t agree with any of it anymore, which makes me feel…better, but knowing I went so goddamn harsh on it makes my original review really hard to read. All I know…

  • The Matrix

    The Matrix


    As excited as I was to revisit The Matrix, especially after buying a 4K Blu-ray box set of all four movies (not a purchase I regret, by the way), it did come with the acknowledgement that I may have to revisit one of my biggest unpopular opinions. I just think this film is okay. Or at least I used to…but it’s grown on me, just a little bit. I looked back at my old review while watching the film, and…

Recent reviews

  • Grease



    What Grease lacks in…character writing, neatness, and the screenplay all around (I hesitated to say I thought the writing was straight up bad for the longest time, but I felt like the characters were inconsistent and the structure was flimsy, enough so that I couldn’t ignore it), it makes up for in its songs and the performances from these actors. Not every song is a winner, but the vast majority of them leave a spell and occasionally let me forgive…

  • Alien Resurrection

    Alien Resurrection


    Do not talk to me about character assassination unless you’ve seen Alien: Resurrection. It’s bad on account of it being bafflingly stupid, yes, but it’s also bad on account of it being boring as sin. It’s all entirely incomprehensible and an insult to the original film, where the accidentally dumb shit is way funnier than the attempts at humor. Winona Ryder is decent in the film and Ellen Ripley is…VERY hot in this, but that’s just about all it has.

    Fucked Up Shit Ville Score: 5/10

Popular reviews

  • Cinderella III: A Twist in Time

    Cinderella III: A Twist in Time


    You know what?

    Fuck you. Name a joke that doesn't land.

  • Dear Evan Hansen

    Dear Evan Hansen



    To talk about Dear Evan Hansen is to talk about Pan’s Labyrinth. In the months before the release of this film, people all over the Internet marveled at how Ben Platt looked in the promotional material for the film. Marveled at how bad he looks, I mean. A lot of people were talking about him by saying he looked like he was forty, or that he looked like he was sick, or that he looked like he had an…