• The Cloverfield Paradox

    The Cloverfield Paradox


    If I can really squint my eyes I can see how this would have a place in the Cloverfield trilogy, but ideally it wouldn’t take that much effort. I also won’t lie to you and say that this is as innovative as Cloverfield or as scary and strong as 10 Cloverfield Lane. It’s the least inspired, the least original, the least well made. In every single way, this is the worst film in the trilogy. But I can’t lie and…

  • The Lost Boys

    The Lost Boys


    Some people shoot films on film, some on digital, but Joel Schumacher shot his on cocaine and his own sex drive. I don’t know if that’s better, but I understand the appeal of The Lost Boys that I can’t exactly rate it lower. I don’t get it, but it feels like one of those films that a certain subsection of people would know every word of, and I can respect that. Those vampires do be looking rad as hell, I can’t deny it.

    Fucked Up Shit Ville Score: 4/10

  • Life



    I’m well aware that this film is extremely derivative, and that in general Ryan Reynolds has no right to be in serious roles. But…I don’t know, I just had a good time with Life. If it’s derivative, it pulls the great ideas from Alien rather than the bad ones, and the result is arguably almost as stunning to look at as its most obvious influence. It’s also just plenty scary and has enough neat ideas to kind of set it apart from Alien. It’s not amazing but I can’t deny that I had a great time.

    Fucked Up Shit Ville Score: 7/10

  • Underwater


    Excellent usage of your Kristen Stewart once again, but wow Underwater, your screenplay is incomprehensible and abysmal. I’ve mentioned before that one of my biggest fears is that of the ocean, so if your ocean horror movie can’t scare me, you’ve probably majorly fucked up. Maybe it would have scared me in another context, there are ideas here that tsp into something that concerns me, but not only is Underwater a failure on every technical level, more importantly the plot is held together with rubber bands and duct tape and the actual writing doesn’t do it any favors either.

    Fucked Up Shit Ville Score: 6/10

  • Girl, Interrupted

    Girl, Interrupted


    I don’t know that James Mangold will ever really wow me, but I’ll keep providing him with chances. I had many grievances with Girl, Interrupted, but most of it boils down to the writing being shallow and providing yet another weird interpretation of psych wards. But honestly, the idea behind this film is really smart and interesting, and it usually helps me get past even the film’s most tedious and shallow moments. Winona Ryder might be one of my favorite…

  • Fallen Angels

    Fallen Angels


    Wong Kar-Wai cements his place among the A-list. A stunning example of immense writing talent and technical ability alike, Fallen Angels is perhaps his all time greatest film within a set of hit after hit. I own the Wong Kar-Wai Blu-ray Criterion box set, and not for one day since have I regretted it.

    Fucked Up Shit Ville Score: 5/10

  • Snatch



    Guy Ritchie has never really wowed me yet, particularly not with his remake of Aladdin, and Snatch wasn’t really any different. I get the appeal, if you find the comedy funny or the action at all interesting I get how this would do it for you. And I’ll admit, I can acknowledge several of the attempts at comedy, and honestly Guy Ritchie’s directing is pretty consistently great here, but other than that this didn’t really connect with me on any levels.

    Fucked Up Shit Ville Score: 4/10

  • Moneyball



    Perhaps it’s just that I’m not much into sports, but I don’t think this is one of Aaron Sorkin’s finest works. Just doesn’t strike me as a particularly interesting character piece, I guess. It makes the central character just interesting enough to keep it above water, although maybe I just like Brad Pitt that much. He’s charming and he’s a talented actor. On that topic, it’s important to note that this film is supremely well acted, especially in the case…

  • Casino



    Currently stuck between a seven and an eight. Sticking with the lower score for now just because…you know, so much of Casino is just a way to show off great filmmaking skills and artistry. It serves as an opportunity for the cinematographer, the editor, and the director all to take a victory lap. More than anything though, it’s an incredible acting showcase, and it really soars in that department. Great character actor against great character actor, great performance against great…

  • Men



    In 2018, Alex Garland directed and wrote Annihilation, his masterpiece, and my favorite film of that year. In 2022, he wrote and directed Men. A film as blunt as the title implies, Men was my most anticipated film of the year, and now having watched it and given it a three out of ten, I’m at a loss as for what to do with all of my energy, excitement and adrenaline. I will gladly give this film points for Jessie…

  • Hustlers



    Can’t really figure out what’s wrong with it other than it just not hitting me like it should. Pretty solid story with important themes and a decent cast, but it’s kind of not anything I haven’t seen in other movies and done better. That said, Lorene Scafaria’s directing brings it up to a high three stars to three and a half. Not sure where I would have ranked this with a less competent director, which means I can’t really go much higher.

    Fucked Up Shit Ville Score: 3/10

  • 13 Going on 30

    13 Going on 30


    13 Going on 30 has THE most confusing world building of any movie I’ve seen in a while, and there are also some strange, of their time, even problematic jokes that don’t sit well two decades later. But wow, is it sincere and loving. Jennifer Garner and Mark Ruffalo have outstanding chemistry, I love seeing them on screen together, the writing between them is solid. Like, if I’m supposed to understand 13 Going on 30 as a romantic comedy first…