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  • Suspiria

    Suspiria

    ★★★★★

    For a long time, I thought there was no way I could possibly write about my favorite film of all time because I felt like there was nothing I could say that would do it justice. Then I realized, you know, that it doesn’t really matter what I say about it because this film speaks for itself. It is a perfect movie in every way and everything about it is well, perfect. The direction, the camerawork, the score, the lighting,…

  • Horror House on Highway Five

    Horror House on Highway Five

    ★★★★★

    This film is a fucking MASTERPIECE of bad cinema! A DISASTERPIECE! Seriously, it is so so so so so good because it is so so so so so bad and I just CANNOT get enough!

    The story is bizarre to say the least: Nazis, a killer in a Richard Nixon mask, a mad doctor, rockets (yes, you read that right), 35 year old college students, brain eating parasites, unidentifiable off-camera flying killer objects a la Phantasm...it's all here in this…

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  • Horror Express

    Horror Express

    ★★★★

    Nothing like a Friday night Cushing and Lee feature! They're both wonderful and very attractive, but something about Cushing just really does it for me. I could watch him all day.

    And I love train set horror movies. My own personal amount of train experience is woefully limited, but I do feel like the action that takes place on all these train horror movies is very logistically improbable and that's ok because the idea is fun and it's a nice…

  • Hell's Highway

    Hell's Highway

    ★★★★½

    I remember when this first came out I was pretty interested in seeing it, but I just never quite got around to it until now. Luckily, it lives up to my “19 years in the making” expectation level. I mean it really is quite awesome! There’s a scene where someone flashes their pager like it’s a gun in an old western movie so if that doesn’t make your nips hard then I don’t know what the hell to do with…

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  • The Haunting of Hill House

    The Haunting of Hill House

    ★★★★★

    Absolutely the best miniseries I have ever seen. Possibly the best miniseries ever made and yes I am absolutely serious.

    Everything in this was the best choice. The whole thing continuously impressed me, but that ending to episode 5 slapped my ass right across the room. Across the goddamn room. The entirety of episode 6 should and will be examined in film schools from here on. Episode 10 gave me so many intense feelings including some that I usually don’t…

  • Altered States

    Altered States

    ★★★★★

    When I was 19, I had a really bad trip that resulted from me unknowingly taking a much larger quantity of acid than I realized. Yes, that is actually a thing that can happen. During this trip, I was inside a friend’s huge mountain house that I had never visited before and I became caught between life and death. I remember that life was beautiful and full of pretty colors and beautiful imagery, but in the darkened corners of that…