Mulholland Drive

Mulholland Drive ★★★★★

I’m watching this at 2am because I’m very drunk and sentimental. I just texted my (extant and accessible, aka those who didn’t DELETE me from their lives) [aka, only my younger brother and sister and my mom] family members and told them how much I loved them because yeah, I’m THAT drunk. DEAL WITH IT. 
Anyway, this movie has EXTREME sentimental value for me because my ex took me to the actual Mulholland Dr. twice in the past few years, and this movie has had an extreme feels-hold on me ever since. It’s besides the point that David Lynch is my favorite director - I started my first real relationship on Mulholland Dr. on a deserted street near Hollywood on a trip to a horror movie convention (on both occasions) [MonsterPalooza], and it will stick with me for the rest of my life. As will this movie. I didn’t treat them right and it’ll haunt me for the rest of my life, I expect, and I deserve every ounce of that pain. Long story short, I watch this when I’m extremely depressed and devoid of hope or care for the future. It reminds me that there was a point in my life when I was happy and felt loved. That may not be the case anymore, but at least I have those memories. But the pain reminds me that I’m alive and can still feel, and at least that’s something. So I carry on, even if it’s being lonely and empty and careless. Sometimes I just need to watch this and remember how it feels to LIVE AND LOVE, even when it hurts to do so. 
I hope all of you are enjoying life and surviving, because it’s really TOUGH sometimes, but we can keep on keeping on if we have the tenacity and ambition. I love all of you and I look forward to your reviews every day. I’m on this app way more than I have any right to be, but it means the world to me when we interact and share our collective love of cinema. 🖤🖤🖤

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