House of 1000 Corpses

House of 1000 Corpses ★★½

So, like, the whole thing is an homage? The movie's just one big joke about how much Rob Zombie loves horror movies? I mean, okay... I guess...

There's actually some pretty good stuff in here, spaced throughout, but the whole thing is just waaay too referential and relies on "heh I know what that's from" for entertainment, and it really doesn't work. Sid Haig is great and honestly the writing's pretty funny, but the victims are just awful to watch. Rainn Wilson in a horror movie? Come on.

The family itself, aside from being a stupid ripoff, is more annoying than scary. Although I did find Bill Moseley kind of interesting, more aesthetically than anything. The gore and alleged terror is hardly much to write home about, especially considering the tension is non-existent. By showing us that the family had kidnapped the cheerleaders, Zombie played his hand way to early and I felt like I was just waiting for them to die.

There is one pretty brilliant moment when a cop is being held at gunpoint. The camera slowly zooms out in total silence and we wait... and wait... and wait. And it finally happens and it's the most shocking, powerful moment in the film despite us essentially knowing what was about to occur, because the length of time there gives us, and the character, hope. It builds TENSION

GET A DICTIONARY ROB ZOMBIE
GET A DICTIONARY AND LOOK UP TENSION
ITS A GREAT WORD
OR BETTER YET
INSTEAD OF REWATCHING TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE REMAKES TRY A HITCHCOCK
MAYBE PSYCHO
ITS GOT STABBING AND CORPSES AND STUFF YOU MIGHT LIKE IT WHO KNOWS