Favorite films

  • Old Joy
  • Blue Velvet
  • Black Christmas
  • Meet Me in St. Louis

Recent activity

  • Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood


  • Watchmen


  • Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

  • The Northman


Pinned reviews

  • McCabe & Mrs. Miller

    McCabe & Mrs. Miller


    In the upper echelon of cinema anecdotes are reports of Altman intentionally damaging film reels and audio tapes at the end of each shooting day, hoping to circumvent the studio inevitably withholding permission for similar effects work in post. It’s just as well that he did; the only thing harder to imagine than executive approval for such a technique is McCabe & Mrs. Miller existing in any other form. Altman dramatizes the idea of the American dream here via the fog…

  • A Hidden Life

    A Hidden Life


    The legend goes that, after watching Silence, Terrence Malick wrote a letter to Martin Scorsese asking “What does Christ require of us?” As a question prompted by the film, it was a good one, well-merited and existentially urgent. What does Christ require of us? Must we confess Him only in our hearts, or also in our words? What great deeds must we do to be worthy of Him? For someone like Malick, like myself, like countless others who take matters of…

Recent reviews

  • Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood

    Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood


    My booze don’t need no buddy, but with a film like this both are optimal

  • Watchmen



    Sublimely despondent punk-cynicism, a projection of Cold War anxieties onto contemporary decay which has somehow only distilled more potently in the 13/35 years since its dual creations (see: incessant placement of the twin towers looming over every cityscape frame, imminence of nuclear disaster under tightening international tensions, the Black Freighter cutaways’ subversion of the comic book itself as narrative vehicle, etc), plus Snyder’s vulgar perfectionism has never been as manic so the whole thing looks bafflingly amazing. Its operatic grandness has proven…

Popular reviews

  • Spider-Man 2

    Spider-Man 2


    the virgin amazing spider-man:
    - responsibility, no power
    - listens to phillip phillips unironically
    - shares diluted to 0.03%
    - probably racist
    - has never seen a girl

    the chad mcu spider-man:
    - power, no responsibility 
    - girls are fine but legos are better
    - can’t do anything w/o sugar daddy iron man
    - snap score hit 1m last week 
    - favorite movie is the lion king (2019), doesn’t know it’s a remake

    the thad raimi/maguire spider-man:
    - power & responsibility 
    - ironic dancing 
    - respectful to women but not a simp
    - relatable (can’t pay rent, occasionally emo)
    - reads poetry, Augustine, probably

  • Napoleon Dynamite

    Napoleon Dynamite


    This movie feels like being in Goodwill