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  • Prophecy

    Prophecy

    ★★★½

    Fantastic and absurd environmental horror movie, filled with as much goop and gore as you could cram into a PG rating in 1979 WHICH WAS PLENTY! Because of mercury poisoning, giant, belligerent hybrid animals are on a rampage in the forests of Maine. Armand Assante plays a Native American freedom fighter, Talia Shire is afraid she’s got a mutant fetus because she ate a giant salmon, beautiful stuff. Also—that scene where Principal Skinner is chasing Bart and he goes under a river and then comes back up? That’s from THIS!

  • One False Move

    One False Move

    ★★★

    Solid little culture clash thriller, big city feds trail some violent crooks back to a small Arkansas town where podunk but ambitious sheriff Bill “Hurricane” Paxton aims to show off his crime fighting stuff and gets tripped up by his past. Carl Franklins direction really shines here, along with Billy Bob’s script, which pulls few punches about the racial element of the story and locale. Hampered a bit by some sluggish stuff in the latter half and Cynda Williams’ performance,…

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  • The Simpsons Movie

    The Simpsons Movie

    ★½

    I don’t mean to second guess the writers and producers, but it was possibly a misguided choice to make this movie not funny. As a person who has enjoyed the popular television show on which this film is based, I would say that one of the main aspects of it is that it is funny. In it’s prime, I would even suggest it was the funniest show of all time. Relentlessly funny, just a feverishly paced onslaught of brilliant jokes…

  • The Departed

    The Departed

    ★★★½

    Y’all know this movie is fucking insane, right? An unhinged mishmash of bizarre plot machinations, over the top performances and cartoonish violence—this may be the strangest best picture winner of all time. This is the one Marty finally got his Oscar for. Not Taxi Driver, not Goodfellas, this faakin doofy Baastin crime parable that feels like a musical without the songs. There is a sex scene set to “Comfortably Numb.” Everybody was skipping meds.