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  • Star Trek Beyond

    Star Trek Beyond

    ★★★

    Here's my script for the next 6-16 Star Trek Movies:

    KIRK:
    Scotty, the bad guy is doing his thing and we have to catch him!

    SCOTTY:
    But captain, you broke the ship (again)!

    (Uhura, Chekov, and Sulu all sorta look at each other as though one of them farted)

    KIRK:
    What if we did the thing!?

    SPOCK:
    Captain, I fail to see how doing the thing, even in the unlikely event --

    KIRK:
    I'm rudely interrupting you, because I'm the…

  • The Sound of Music

    The Sound of Music

    ★★★★½

    This movie is a warm hug for two and half hours and a middle finger to nazis for the last thirty minutes and honestly what more could you want in 2017