Star Wars: The Last Jedi ★★★★½

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers.

Let the past die. Kill it, if you have to…

I’ve been waiting two years for Luke’s sage-like advice!
* tosses ur laser sword

I can’t wait to see Luke as the enlightened, willing teacher
* “This is not going to go the way you think”

Bring on the scarred & masked villain!
* “Take that ridiculous thing off”
* SMASH SMASH SMASH bring me my ship STOMP STOMP
* Oh, and carbon fiber healing, so he’s a normie

Snoke’s gonna be 10x more sinister than Sidious
* Vrummmummmmm FVISH! Thud.

Those off-the-cuff rebel plans always come together
* Poe (dismayed),“it didn’t work :/”

I can’t wait to discover Rey’s sacred (or sith-based) lineage
* That’s IMPOSSIBLE!
* Also, lol midichlorians

Maybe a brother?
* nope.

What about “Force siblings”
* HAHAHAHA

Ah, it’s time to pull an obi-wan and do an intense self-sacrifice so he can force-ghost ren!
* Naaahhh. Phones it in
* Force-ghosting ren for eternity wouldn’t help things anyways

TFA painted TLJ into a corner—of course it lashed out—what the hell else was it supposed to do?

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