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  • Jurassic Park

    Jurassic Park


    In praise of 1.85:1

  • The Beach Bum

    The Beach Bum

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    The slim scene with Creed on the stereo was good, channeling Alan Partridge and the Black Beauty theme tune.

  • Hideaway



    Trevor Jones pulled out his distinctive MIDI guitar from Labyrinth and without changing a single setting, knocked out an industrial metal score with bad but charming results.

  • Spontaneous Combustion

    Spontaneous Combustion


    The Ink Spots' I Don't Want to Set The World on Fire and a chirpy 1950s newsreel singing the praises of a nuclear vault, the first 10 minutes of this is all the cool stuff from Fallout 3, 18 years before Bethesda 'borrowed' it.

    The 90s-set stuff is great too, with delightfully revolting special effects.

  • Gross Misconduct

    Gross Misconduct


    Turns out when Amazon Prime says this Australian film is by George Miller, it actually means George T Miller, director of the seal film Andre, Cyberdog and The Never ending Story 2. It's very hard work.
    Amazon does correctly identify the real Alan "Dr Karl Kennedy" Fletcher though, in an early performance that shows why he stayed on Ramsay Street but didn't do films. Still, always nice to see him.

  • Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood

    Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood


    About two and a half hours in, the woman sat next to me turned to her friend and said "This is the shittest film I've ever seen".
    And that was absolutely fine.

  • Body Shots

    Body Shots


    High on the worst films I've ever seen list.
    If you spot a copy in a charity shop, buy it and put it in the bin.

  • Paddington 2

    Paddington 2



    A smug celebration of Bake-Off Britain.

    Also, about 30 actors were denied breaks by the jarring decision to have literally every speaking part a well established famous person. The whole thing felt cynical.

  • House



  • Selling Innocence

    Selling Innocence


    A quaint 2005 Canadian TV movie that's the internet Reefer Madness with a touch of Perfect Blue.
    The writer didn't see selfies coming: "Hey, would you ever put a pic of yourself on the web?"

  • Ghostwatch



    Halloween, 1992. I was nine and staying at a friend's house. After experiencing true fear watching this we had to sleep in his sister's room with the lights on. Going Live had told us that morning to watch this so we did, and it set me scared of mirrors and curtains for life. Watching it now I can see what still gets me but overall it's a brilliantly put together BBC ghost story, with suitably grisly details (black labrador...) Nigel Kneale would be proud of.

  • Freddy Got Fingered

    Freddy Got Fingered


    Tom Green is the only Jim Carrey I can stomach. Rip Torn's shouty performance in this is the absolute pits.