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  • Blade Runner 2049

    Blade Runner 2049

    ★★★★★

    "So did you like it?" Yeah, it was really good. I think it's a clear improvement and built on the first. "But it was sooooo loooooong." It's really not when you can sit and watch six hours of a Friends and Breaking Bad marathon straight, and both of those are bad. FIGHT ME.

    I liked it a lot and it was pretty and made the world better and I can't wait for more people to get angry about it.

  • Blade Runner

    Blade Runner

    ★★★½

    Man, people LOVE this movie or did someone tell them to love this movie and it's just "Oh yeah, I like that movie a lot" but really they've never seen it. POSERS. And those seven seconds they added really made the difference.

    I like it like I like Battlestar Galactica. It's a long burn and you're all WHOA that was neat and then you wait for a while and then WHOA that was neat too.

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  • Star Wars: The Force Awakens

    Star Wars: The Force Awakens

    ★★★★★

    That one big spoiler everyone talks about happens in like the first five minutes and that other one happens when you totally expect it AND THEN LIKE FIFTY OTHER COOL THINGS HAPPEN and it was fun and they used the force.

  • Halloween II

    Halloween II

    ★★★½

    Dude gets shot and still goes around killing. Gets shot in BOTH EYES and still swings around a knife. DUDE'S A BEAST.

    They were like "Let's make it edgier AND give these characters more!" and then got bored and realized that maybe they should just kill them.