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  • Robin Hood

    Robin Hood

    ★★★

    Scavenger Hunt #56, Task #12: Watch a film about Robin Hood or King Arthur.

    “Robin Hood” is a dangerous movie that indoctrinated a whole cohort of children into the “cult of socialism” and ultimately manipulated them into doing crazy things like following Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez on Instagram, when we should actually be worshipping our robber-baron overlords as the irreproachable, job-creating, definitely-not-corrupt, definitely-not-ruining-our-planet pillars of wisdom that they are. Vote Bloomberg as your Democratic nominee!*

    All kidding aside, “Robin Hood” is useful…

  • The Irishman

    The Irishman

    ★★★★

    Scavenger Hunt #56, Task #26: Watch a film starring or made by someone who has a BAFTA Fellowship.

    “The Irishman” is one of those rare Scorsese films that seems labored, and by design. Note that the opening long take calls back to “Goodfellas,” but takes place in a nursing home instead of a ritzy nightclub. Consider how Scorsese dutifully highlights the myriad asinine ways in which the characters on screen eventually met their end in real life. “The Irishman” takes…

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  • Her Smell

    Her Smell

    ★★★★½

    Scavenger Hunt #56, Task #28: Watch a film about a breakup.

    The second half is deeply moving precisely because of how profoundly obnoxious the first half is. Credit to Elisabeth Moss for showing zero restraint in playing a character that horrific; the temptation would be to sneak in a sympathetic layer, but Moss portrays Becky Something straight up as a toxic shit who revels in emotional devastation. Yes, she’s clearly in a losing battle with mental illness and drug addiction,…

  • Attack the Block

    Attack the Block

    ★★★★

    Scavenger Hunt #56, Task #24: Watch a film starring someone who has played Doctor Who.

    "Attack the Block" rollicks along with legitimate suspense, taut pacing (at 88 minutes), really fun practical effects, and John Boyega displaying early signs of the movie-star charisma that would enrage an entire population of basement-dwelling incels four years later. Superficially telling an "Independence Day" narrative (i.e., unlikely allies in the face of an alien invasion), the movie becomes all the more interesting in choosing to…