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  • Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    The first half had me hopeful Episode IX would at least qualify as "good dumb" with enough minor bits (Babu Frik, C-3P0 wearing a winter jacket with the hood up, the background dancers from Katy Perry's Never Really Over video finding further employment at off-planet Coachella) mixed with the heroes' pointless gallivanting around the galaxy (Abrams really is a master at stitching together scenes that work individually, yet manage to cohere into absolutely nothing).

    But. That final third. Each plot…

  • Charlie's Angels

    Charlie's Angels


    For a movie as bland and ultimately forgettable as this, I still feel like it's getting a bad reputation. Nothing was ever going to make the gays clutch their hearts, souls and holes quite as much as the ultra camp, high femme odysseys starring the iconic trio of Cameron, Drew (and especially) Lucy, but there's still plenty of charm to be gleaned from this Sunday afternoon airplane movie.

    Also, special notice must be paid to the sequence where Kstew & Ella…

  • Hustlers



    And you thought the Safdie brothers were the most exciting auteurs making movies about New York City.

    (You think you're prepared for how great J.Lo is in this, but you're not and you should be thankful)

  • It Chapter Two

    It Chapter Two


    James McAvoy heard Tina from Season 1 of Glee's stutter and decided to freak it

  • The Perfect Date

    The Perfect Date


    You’re better off daydreaming about whatever casually biting thing Kstew will inevitably say to him in Charlie’s Angels, watching the music video for the massively underrated bubblegum bliss known as Boombox by Laura Marano or wondering why Camila Mendes is already giving Season 5 of Gossip Girl level bored performances and if that means she’s also headed for the creative revitalization of Blake Lively in a few years

  • Climax



    The best case scenario of style over substance, where anybody using that as a criticism is being lazy.

    I love stories that show how absolutely thrilling drugs can be, but also how psychotically psychotic they can be - usually in the same night. 

    I love stories that reveal who their characters are through their conversations to one another, instead of doling out their backstories via exposition or tired scene-setting. 

    I love stories that understand dance on a primal level and…

  • Captain Marvel

    Captain Marvel


    This movie is pro-cat propaganda and I simply will not stand for it

  • Native Son

    Native Son


    Oof. I really wanted to like this.

    Ashton Sanders really gives his ALL trying (and almost succeeding) to elevate a character so underwritten his “murky complexity” reads as nothing more than the air quotes I hope you just envisioned.

    Bits here and there about the day-to-day racial politics in modern day America work, but they still feel overly simplified and devoid of nuance. Add in a second act turning point that’s just..............dumb as hell and the fact that every other…

  • Knock Down the House

    Knock Down the House


    Every second of this film is overflowing with real and raw emotion - the stories of American women who are fed up, angry and committed to making change. Heroes, in other words.

    Keep an eye out for this one, if for nothing else than proof (did you really need more?) that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is The Real Deal.

  • Apollo 11

    Apollo 11


    Was every frame of this immaculate in its formal beauty and 70 mm clarity? Yes.

    Was it like somebody saw First Man, took out any semblance of human emotion (which isn’t saying much) and was left with an even more boring film? Yes.

    But you guys, it really is pretty. See it on the biggest screen possible. 

    Also the synthy Tron: Legacy adjacent score absolutely slaps and elevates this an entire star.

  • Glass



    If Unbreakable is highbrow (and good!) and Split is lowbrow (and good!), then Glass is middlebrow (and not good!)

  • Escape Room

    Escape Room


    There’s a better version of this film that realizes Deborah Ann Woll in a Sarah Connor-esque muscle bearing tank top barely hanging on for life in an elevator shaft is the type of pulpy fun imagery there should’ve been far more of (Seriously, get her an action franchise or an all redhead reboot of Totally Spies with Emma Stone and Jessica Chastain).

    Instead we get a mostly passable thriller that’s just stupid enough that I only checked my watch a…