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  • Sheena

    Sheena

    ★★

    If you've ever wanted the intro to a themed porno to go feature length— yo.

  • Gretel & Hansel

    Gretel & Hansel

    ★★★

    What if The VVitch, but with no subtlety and a Blade Runner voice over? ... Still pretty good, a testament to the OG. Keep the synthwaves crashing, R.o.B.

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  • Star Wars: The Force Awakens

    Star Wars: The Force Awakens

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Aside from the beat-for-beat mirroring of the original film seriously deflating the drama and suspense, I rather liked this episode.

    However, the story is like a coincidence got in a wrestling match with fate and the punch-up crew from the MCU was commentating. And, I get why they did it and the end result could be the best set-up for a budding "new" franchise, but still kinda dodgy.


    I really want an explanation for why R2 happened to "come to"…

  • VHS Lives: A Schlockumentary

    VHS Lives: A Schlockumentary

    ★★★

    A bunch of social outcasts wax poetic about their obscure obsession of collecting garbage cinema on a garbage format because ‘*^the 80’s^*’. There but for the loss of my virginity go I...

    This film will only appeal to the actual rando interviewees who appeared in it, and those who wished they could have. And me, but only because, every 15 minutes-or-so, this utter loon pops on and gives segmented tours of his creepy hoarders-den filled with hand-labeled tapes of future evidence toward yet-to-be-discovered crimes against nature; it’s horrifyingly cringy, yet shockingly captivating.