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  • Red State

    Red State

    ★½

    yay stock gun sound effects!

  • Dark Signal

    Dark Signal

    ★½

    It's unfortunate that I had to sit through 90 minutes of bullshit for one really reeaallly good bit; imagine the potential if that moment were in the right hands. Alas.

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  • 47 Meters Down

    47 Meters Down

    ½

    This movie was made by:
    - a director whose career is now over
    - a DP who knows the craft of camera but not the art, also thinks slow motion makes everything better
    - a writer whose research consisted of skimming the Wikipedia page on the bends
    - an editor on cocaine
    - a sound mixer who records all the sound at the exact same level

    This movie features:
    - characters narrating their every fucking move
    - open sea swimming…

  • War for the Planet of the Apes

    War for the Planet of the Apes

    I don't understand the love here at all. This was utter garbage, for a myriad of reasons:
    1. Hackneyed writing. Yeah give the girl and the monkey a little moment before you kill the monkey in the next scene -- screenwriting!
    2. So so so fucking tired of the "protect child who will change everything" trope, and it doesn't even make sense here to boot.
    3. Literally no moment in this shitshow is earned. We just get "moments" because we…