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  • Security

    Security

    ★★★

    "Assault On Precinct 13 in a mall" sounds like a long overdue idea. Like, decades long overdue - by 2017, the age of the mall has largely passed and whatever set or facility they filmed this in looks like no mall I've ever seen. And no wonder - filmed in Bulgaria of course, and I don't know what kind of shopping culture they have in Bulgaria now but I'd wager that during the golden age of malls, they didn't have…

  • F/X2

    F/X2

    ★½

    Few sequels have been less asked-for than F/X 2, but this movie totally earns its right to exist by having the greatest after-the-colon subtitle of all time: The Deadly Art Of Illusion. Fuck everything else about it - that is five amazing words.

    Okay, everything else about it: as was the case with its predecessor, this movie has a tough time figuring out how to make this all about a special effects guy. So we nominally get moments where our…

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  • The Human Centipede 3 (Final Sequence)

    The Human Centipede 3 (Final Sequence)

    Tom Six, like a lot of people whose art is childishly offensive and basically stupid, considers himself a warrior for free speech. (o, how hard he fights. On Twitter.) He dresses like the French guy in Raiders Of The Lost Ark and has so far shown the world exactly one idea, which he's flogged out for three movies now. I am caught between befuddlement and admiration.

    This third gulp at the can dispenses with the dropout-Cronenberg medical horror of the…

  • Mad Max: Fury Road

    Mad Max: Fury Road

    ★★★★½

    George Miller had been talking about this - or at least, had been persistently asked about it in interviews - for like twenty years now, and I don't know what's different about now that he finally got around to making it but I'm glad he did. The response on this has been gobsmacking, though I was willing to chalk a fair bit of it up to Peak Gen-X Nostalgia, and it coming at a good time to be heralded as…