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  • Little Nikita

    Little Nikita

    ★★

    So we've got this Soviet agent named Scuba, who's in America, murdering deep-cover Soviet agents unless he gets $200,000. Another Soviet agent is sent to...take care of him. I have no idea who I'm supposed to be cheering for here, but I admire Scuba for being able to convince one of his victims to go waterskiing with him in what I would think would be very secure waters. (his victim was not secure...FROM DEATH)

    River Phoenix finds out his parents…

  • Kissing Jessica Stein

    Kissing Jessica Stein

    ★★★

    Another Tradefest assignment - and my favourite kind, one I can painlessly borrow from the library.

    Seeing this title brings back a sharp enough pang of recognition for me to wonder if this made a hell of a splash in its day, and if so, among which corner of the internet I was plugged into - which message board? Which usenet forum? Ohmigod, did I actually know an in-the-flesh person who was into this movie? I bet it was Christine.…

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  • The Human Centipede 3 (Final Sequence)

    The Human Centipede 3 (Final Sequence)

    Tom Six, like a lot of people whose art is childishly offensive and basically stupid, considers himself a warrior for free speech. (o, how hard he fights. On Twitter.) He dresses like the French guy in Raiders Of The Lost Ark and has so far shown the world exactly one idea, which he's flogged out for three movies now. I am caught between befuddlement and admiration.

    This third gulp at the can dispenses with the dropout-Cronenberg medical horror of the…

  • Mad Max: Fury Road

    Mad Max: Fury Road

    ★★★★½

    George Miller had been talking about this - or at least, had been persistently asked about it in interviews - for like twenty years now, and I don't know what's different about now that he finally got around to making it but I'm glad he did. The response on this has been gobsmacking, though I was willing to chalk a fair bit of it up to Peak Gen-X Nostalgia, and it coming at a good time to be heralded as…