Three years before people thought The Predator couldn't make up its mind about what it was, six years before the guys in marketing had to make up the word "thrill-omedy" to sell Arachnophobia, The Terminator was a sci-fi/action/slasher/romance (with war flashbacks) that everybody understood.

It was also probably the first "holy shit you've got to see this" movie of the VHS age that trickled out to me - I first saw it on that weekend when we rented a VCR…

This sure takes its sweet-ass time getting to where it's going, and for all the hype around a chainsaw duel, I dunno about you guys but I've seen a few chainsaw duels. It's got the emotional heft of a limerick, since it's so distanced from engaging with any of its characters, except perhaps Linus Roache as a Manson wannabe with apparently nothing more on his mind than his followers' loyalty and the gratification it can give him, and the terror…

Tom Six, like a lot of people whose art is childishly offensive and basically stupid, considers himself a warrior for free speech. (o, how hard he fights. On Twitter.) He dresses like the French guy in Raiders Of The Lost Ark and has so far shown the world exactly one idea, which he's flogged out for three movies now. I am caught between befuddlement and admiration.

This third gulp at the can dispenses with the dropout-Cronenberg medical horror of the…

George Miller had been talking about this - or at least, had been persistently asked about it in interviews - for like twenty years now, and I don't know what's different about now that he finally got around to making it but I'm glad he did. The response on this has been gobsmacking, though I was willing to chalk a fair bit of it up to Peak Gen-X Nostalgia, and it coming at a good time to be heralded as…