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  • Alvin and the Chipmunks

    Alvin and the Chipmunks

    ★★

    David Cross did this while Bob Odenkirk was doing Breaking Bad.

  • Fifty Shades Freed

    Fifty Shades Freed

    ★★

    After three movies, my girl Anastasia finally tried some butt stuff. Now THAT'S a story arc!

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  • Rabid

    Rabid

    ★★★½

    This movie is like if Cronenberg was in a transportation pod, but little did he know that George Romero's early movies were in there with him! Now their DNA is fused!

    Anyway, as a sex zombie movie it's OK, but as a virus-turned-government lockdown martial law flick, it's pretty rad.

  • My Teacher's Wife

    My Teacher's Wife

    ★★★

    The '90s were a wonderful time where you could score a soccer montage to a ska song and have a Halloween party scene where a dude is dressed like Hare Krishna zombie from Dawn of the Dead and also it's a slacker comedy about dudes going to Harvard and there's no actual comedy but I guess Zach Orth is the comedic relief until it's revealed that he's a dickhead and Tia Carrere is ridiculously foxy and if this movie was…

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  • Cabin Fever

    Cabin Fever

    ½

    "Hi, Eli Roth. We're gonna remake Cabin Fever. Got any ideas for it?"
    "Just fuck my shit up, fam."
    "Say no more."

  • Training Day

    Training Day

    ★★★★½

    From the Trivia section of imdb:

    "The quote "King Kong aint got shit on me" is a reference to 1930s King Kong"


    Fascinating.