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  • Beauty and the Beast

    Beauty and the Beast

    ★★★½

    emma watson: can't really sing, isn't that charismatic, but is really pretty, white, and famous
    disney: OH WOW BIG NUT!!?!?!!😍😍💰💰💰🙌🏻🙌🏻 we found our Belle!!! 💦💦

  • 20th Century Women

    20th Century Women

    ★★★★½

    listen we all might be making "greta gerwig can't pay the rent' jokes now but according to google her net worth is 2 million dollars so i think we know who's really laughing

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  • Gone Girl

    Gone Girl

    ★★★★★

    me, at my wedding, reciting my vows: and my lazy, lying, shitting oblivious husband

  • Hacksaw Ridge

    Hacksaw Ridge

    ★★½

    there was a moment where I wanted someone to shoot andrew garfield just so the movie would end and that moment was 8 minutes in