Ritual ★★★★★


i must say, i was not expecting this movie to be this much personal the way it is, it left me with an uncomfortable, familiar feeling at the middle of the night (it's 4 am to be exact). the story of a girl who goes over to the edge of the roof just to see if she's fine that day with the way of is she about to jump or not; the reason she may not have jumped that ledge may very well be due to those lies she kept telling herself and her whole 'ritual', which has became her daily ʼroutinesʼ. and yeah, this is something really personal to me. as someone said about this movie before and i felt the need to quote that: “madness has rarely been this beatufiul” and i must add, i found that madness in me. sitting there beautifully, always making me do things to distract myself, gotta make sure you don't feel lonely, right? in the middle of the city, you can feel its heartbeats. you're there. alone. with your friends, maybe? they love you, right? of course they do, and you love them too. but maybe that's not the case. director was with the girl all the time, he got overwhelmed at some point, he had the rights to, but he never really wanted to leave. but she was always sure that he'll leave, eventually. and it came to a point where she was going to be the cause of him being gone.
you love them, they love you. but that's not the point at all. her escape from reality just to protect herself was because of this, maybe.

compared to characters plot is secondary, something that just happens half accidentally alongside with character interactions instead of it propelling the movie and i was getting along well with this. because it's how it is in real life, maybe. plot is background canvas for all that takes place, yet it will be there, it's still there and is quite complex affair.
maybe i should go personal with the rest of my review. maybe i shouldn't and head right at where i admire the cinematography, the editing, all the shots, all the settings; with the vulnerability i'm experiencing right now i'm not even sure what to do. i was always the one person that tried to portray myself as i would've enjoyed being alone generally, maybe this was me trying to look tough but to some point i enjoy my alone time. but feeling lonely, feeling like you're alone, this is something that comes within and it's sad because it's always related in there; unresolved issues, unresolved traumas...the burden of abandonments.
and it's always scary to tell that you feel lonely. what would your loved ones feel if you say that, right? even if it's not the case, it will be that case eventually.

00:42:06 i like rainy days
00:42:08 because when it rains,
00:42:10 all the merry people in the world finally walk with their eyes downcast
00:42:14 that's why i like rain!

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