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  • The Princess Switch

    The Princess Switch

    ★★½

    I wish I looked like Vanessa Hudgens. Life would be so different.

  • Queen of the Damned

    Queen of the Damned

    ★½

    Absolutely proves the theory that if I’m sitting on my couch in a shit mood watching TV and I’ve left the remote control in the kitchen for some reason I’m completely f&$ked for 2 hours.

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  • Blade Runner 2049

    Blade Runner 2049

    ★★★★★

    LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

    Blade Runner 2049 is the perfect first date movie. Because if he/she don't dig it, they're super-lame, probably a Mental-B replicant at best, and definitely not the man/woman of your unicorn 🦄 dreams.

    Oh. And this one's a bonafide, long-awaited, ridgey-didge, full-throttle, rootin' tootin', no-holds-barred 6/5. (🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄/5)

  • Heat

    Heat

    ★★★★★

    Is this what an erection feels like?
     🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆 / 💦💦💦💦☔️
    (6/5)