Varan_the_Man

Varan_the_Man

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Low budget doesn’t mean low effort

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  • Patrick Still Lives!

    Patrick Still Lives!

    ★★★★★

    Primo Italian knockoff sleaze. Superimposed eyes, psychic murders, every woman gets completely undressed bush and all (thank you movie), feels like it was made for pennies, and the eternally hot Mariangela Giordano gets a poker graphically shoved up her vagina and out her mouth.

  • Weathering with You

    Weathering with You

    ★★★★½

    I too share Makoto Shinkai’s fetish for gorgeously animated rain.

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  • Escapes

    Escapes

    ★★★½

    Charming little anthology full of cozy Americana vibes.

    Vincent Price is as endearing as ever, there’s tag playing rat people, plus a creepy eye-stealing hobgoblin too. 

    Just a lazy afternoon kind of film. Perfect for kids getting into the genre.

  • Cam2Cam

    Cam2Cam

    ½

    Omegle is not scary and this movie is dumb

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  • The Hurricane Heist

    The Hurricane Heist

    ★★★½

    How am I supposed to hate a movie where our main character uses the hurricane to turn a hubcap into a killer frisbee, impaling a dude through the chest?

  • Suspiria

    Suspiria

    ★★★★★

    “Bad luck isn't brought by broken mirrors, but by broken minds.”

    Dario Argento’s fever dream.

    A fantastical acid trip into a world of endless hallways, colors bleeding through the scenery, mysterious sounds echoing just on the other side of a door, a soundtrack of creepy ~ la la las~, and style, style, style.

    It might be too soon to say this, but this is Peak Argento.

    The atmosphere is so incredibly overbearing, you’re never in a state of relaxation. You…