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  • Black Panther

    Black Panther

    Absolute trainwreck. I suppose we should go ahead and get the good out of the way to clear the path for My Rant©: Letitia Wright and Michael B. Jordan are extremely magnetic, the former says WHAT ARE THOSE!!!! at one point, and sometimes its aesthetic reaches the lofty heights of a LUC BESSON film!! Like Besson, its worldsense is matter-of-factly idiosyncratic for its own rather weak sake and nothing else's, which is rather emblematic of the film's ultimate championing of…

  • Fifty Shades Freed

    Fifty Shades Freed

    Let us consider this film amorallly and de-intentionally, ignoring, for a moment, the whiplash tonal switch made between the brilliant original and Fifty Shades Darker, from the schizophrenic trial and escape of a terrified, naive woman from the clutches of capitalist sexual objectification, to a near-gleeful complicity to this force. The signifiers for its cultural toxicity are still here, though completely uninterrogated and without even the necessary focus for the viewer to interrogate them themselves.

    What, again, is the point…

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  • R.I.P.D.

    R.I.P.D.

    ★½

    I still haven't seen Seven Samurai.

  • La La Land

    La La Land

    ★½

    The most artless celebration of art I have ever witnessed. Art is basically what a very few people (this film's intended audience of The Academy) get to do for a living in this film. It is undemocratic and mainly nostalgia for the retired. This blatant attempt to funnel this myopic, decrepit worldview through not only one of the premiere genres of freedom, but a story of millennials with no money, having prospects handed to them because they are more nostalgic…