Everywhen ½

A Scandinavian movie about time travel seems like a fun idea, but Everywhen fails at almost everything. Why did this short feature end up on Blu-ray in European shops? The two teenage filmmakers know a bit about CGI and love playing with guns. Unfortunately they haven’t got a clue about plot, dialogue, casting, acting, pacing, blocking, editing, sound and basic storytelling. Everywhen is a mess.

Most of the amateur actors play flat characters who remain nameless. Some characters pop up just to disappear completely after two or three sentences. Everybody talks English with a thick Norwegian accent. A female detective gets lost in the narrative for almost half an hour. The two blond teenage lead actors run, shout and shoot at random while being chased by the most incompetent SWAT team you will ever witness. Crew members create big shadows and bump into props. In the middle of the story the action comes to a halt to make room for elaborate expository dialogue and infodumping which doesn’t make the events any clearer. Parallel worlds are colliding and life on earth seems to be on the brink of extinction, but that’s hard to believe when in the background people pass by carrying their groceries and checking their e-mail.

This is not a movie. This is a high school prank.