Favorite films

Pinned reviews

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  The Nativity Story 2006

  ★★★ Watched 25 Jan 2016

  don't put oscar isaac in your movie if i'm supposed to be thinking about jesus

Recent reviews

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  Seven Brides for Seven Brothers 1954

  ★★★★★ Rewatched 15 Apr 2023

  literally the "hello, human resources?" meme except this movie is the handsome guy who is so beautiful and delightful and charming that I simply pretend I do not see any creepiness

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  Penny Serenade 1941

  ★★ Watched 14 Apr 2023

  This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

  Was promised weepie melodrama; received maudlin bore :(

  At one point, we find out the child is fated to die, and the next several scenes play out like a Final Destination movie. But then the actual death happens off-screen and is revealed in a letter!!! It was not a tragic school play accident at all!!!

  I did love, and would kill and/or die for, Uncle Applejack. The scene where he swoops in to change the baby's diaper was the film's emotional high point. I wish the rest of the movie had achieved an ounce of that humanity!

Popular reviews

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  Texas Chainsaw 3D 2013

  ★½ Watched 06 Jan 2013

  Hurry, block the door with this small piece of wood, which I'm sure is that chainsaw's only weakness!

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  Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker 2019

  ★★★½ Rewatched 21 Dec 2019

  This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

  [me banging pots and pans outside j.j. abrams' house:]

  WHO FUCKED PALPATINE?
  WHO.... FUCKED..... PALPATINE?
  WHO??? FUCKED????? PALPATINE????